The In-Between: My Real-Time Journey Through Transition

I’ve been on my healing journey for quite some time, and as a therapist, I’m very familiar with the feelings that come with adjusting during transitions. As a child of God, I’m also very familiar with the presence of God. But just because I have the knowledge and the skill set to apply it, doesn’t mean it’s always easy—or that I even remember to do so, especially when I’m distracted by everything on my plate. I’m wise enough to know I need support.

I’ve been in therapy before and have always invited God into my healing process, but this time, I tried something different. I began life coaching in January 2025. Unknowingly, I stepped into the gray.

The gray is the in-between—the closing of one door before the next one opens. It’s the wait. The process. The renewing. The “in real time.” The space between up and down. The emotional limbo where you're just trying to find your footing.

Imagine entering this place after living your whole life in black and white—either/or, all or nothing. Now imagine not even knowing that the gray existed.

On my journey, I’ve always heard others share their testimonies—but it’s usually after they’ve made it through. I’ve never really encountered a mentor or someone I admire to talk about their struggles in real time. How are you managing today while growing through life? How are you navigating your gray?

Just yesterday—May 21, 2025— (yes, I’m late to posting, don’t judge.) I was told by my property manager that they would not be fixing the HVAC system in my office building. The repair costs range from $6,000 to $30,000. I’ve been renting this space for three years, and it’s time to renew my lease. He was also not very nice, but hey, I’m a Black woman in business—that’s nothing new. I sent an email letting them know I would not be renewing my lease, which ends June 1, 2025.

Thankfully, my best friend was right next to me through all of this. And I have the best realtor to help guide me through this transition.

I went through a range of emotions, but I’m a therapist—so let me break it down and walk you through my mental gymnastics.

Anger:
“How in the world can you expect a tenant to be responsible for replacing a faulty AC unit? You knew it wasn’t working before I signed that first three-year lease—but my fault for not checking. First time, shame on me. But there won’t be a next time.”

Okay, I was actually very angry (lol):
“And another thing—don’t talk to me like I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m young, you’re older. I’m Black, you’re white. I’m a woman, you’re a man. You’re taller, I’m short. Let’s not do this, sir. I do know how commercial real estate works.”

He told me, “That’s how commercial real estate works, ma’am. You’re responsible... including taxes.”
Sir. You’ve lost your everlasting mind. I’ve been taken advantage of so many times—not just in business—but because I was vulnerable, inexperienced, and uninformed, what, I’m an easy target?!  A Black woman, single, trying to build something meaningful with limited resources is not an excuse to…. okay, I’m back. Ooo child!

Sadness:
I was sad because I immediately went into that all-or-nothing thinking: “Well, I won’t be here anymore.” But I know how important this space has been to my clients—how vital having a safe, familiar place is to those in the middle of their own healing. Myself included.

Confusion:
If I’m not going to stay, but I’m not quite ready to leave... what do I do?
Do I go virtual for a few months?
Why did I get that job listing from the FBI in my inbox this morning—was that a sign?
Is God calling me to pivot—or am I just trying to escape because it’s hard?
I’m looking to hire another therapist for the practice. I’m about to start a PhD program.
What is going on, God? What are You doing?

After my coaching session that evening, we talked about how vulnerable I felt. I told her I needed to write it out. So here it goes.

The truth is I still don’t have all the answers. I cried. I went into my backyard to ground myself. I let the sun soothe me, I am resting through all of this and being kind to my mind and my body. My business coach and angel, Tasha, called me just to check in—her timing is always divine. Right before she called, I had just told God through tears: I just need a hug.

As she began speaking life into me, I wept again—but this time, I felt my spirit rise. She told me, “Arianne, it’s okay to cry. I’ve watched you work so hard for your clients, for your babies, and for yourself. You’re a fighter, so do whatever you have to do—but don’t give up. Keep going. Keep trusting God. He’ll show you what to do.” That’s a coach hunny, and that’s a friend. 

After we got off the phone, it was time for Bible study. I didn’t have the energy to go in person, so I turned on my church app. Pastor Alaina was preaching—about money and God. I jumped up, put on my shoes, and flew out the door. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

On the drive, I got sidetracked with concerns about my son’s speech therapy. But I made it. I quietly sat on the last row, not wanting anyone to feel the weight of my energy. Yet I knew, God was speaking through her directly to me—just like He always does. 

It’s not just fear of the unknown. It’s deeper than that. I’m in the middle. I’m learning to surrender—to His will, His way, His timing. I’m breaking habits, mental blocks, and generational silence. Yesterday, I was overwhelmed. Today, I feel more comforted, knowing once again: God sees me.

This morning, after rest, I felt lighter. 

Right now, I’m at a crossroads. Two weeks away from lease renewal. Facing a decision to either leave or take on a huge financial responsibility for a building I don’t own. That aint happening by the way.  I'm starting a PhD program without a full team in place to run the practice. And I refuse to hire just anyone. Healing is sacred. I stand by that. 

Maybe I’ll return to private practice. Maybe I’ll temporarily go virtual. Maybe I’ll put the furniture in storage and trust the next space will come.

My kids are also in transition—with new schedules and needs. Everything is shifting.

I’m new at being vulnerable in real time, so please bear with me.
Have you ever felt like you’re in-between? Not where you were, but not quite where you’re going? That’s me right now. And I am telling you the truth when I say I am okay. It doesn’t feel amazing, but it’s also not the worst thing in the world. I’m at peace, and when I’m not, I always find my way back to peace. 

Maybe you’re waiting, wondering, wrestling in a season of uncertainty.
I am too. And I want to share this truth with you—so you feel less alone in your own in-between.