Why We Hide, Why We Struggle to Rest.
As we enter the last month of the year, I’ve been reflecting deeply on my own healing journey. I began a season of intense inner-child work in January 2025, and even the way my life coach appeared in my life was nothing short of divine alignment. God knew I needed it before I did. The work is lifelong, but those first steps… those are the steps that break you open and build you at the same time. Since January, I am not the same woman. I don’t see life the way I used to. I don’t react the way I used to. And I no longer abandon myself the way I used to. I dedicated this year to radical self-love and intentional self-care. As a therapist, I’ve walked so many people through their healing, but stepping into my own deep work was about becoming the woman I need to be, to sustain the blessings, responsibilities, and calling God placed on my life. I didn’t know what this journey would require. I just knew I couldn’t carry old wounds into a new season.
For years, I wondered why my grind produced unfinished tasks, delays, and moments of self-sabotage. How could I guide my clients through life-changing transformation… yet never give myself permission to journey to that same depth? Inner child work changed that. This is the kind of healing they write books and movies about, the kind that catapults you into a version of yourself you didn’t even know you were allowed to dream of.
The Truth About Why We Hide & Why Rest Feels Wrong
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this:
Many of us don’t rest because our nervous system doesn’t believe rest is safe.
Growing up, many of us learned:
Rest was “lazy”
Slowing down was dangerous
Being seen was risky
And survival meant shrinking, hustling, or pretending we were “fine”
Especially if you were praised for overworking, helping others, or being “strong.”
So we hide.
We push.
We overperform.
We collapse instead of rest.
And we wonder why we feel so disconnected from ourselves.
Reparenting Myself in Real-Time
One of the biggest ways my healing shows up is in how I treat my body.
Rest is still uncomfortable for me — but now, I catch the pattern. I talk to little Arianne and remind her:
“This is what love looks like.
This is what safety feels like.
You don’t have to earn rest. You get to have it.”
My old inner script said:
“You could’ve at least started the laundry.”
“Just get up and fold it.”
Now?
Rest, Black girl. Rest.
Showing Up for Myself in New Ways
Today, I’m on Day 38 of a 63-day workout program that requires consistency and discipline I used to struggle with, especially since becoming a mom.
I started at 176 lbs (I’m 5’2)
I’m now at 165.
And while I’m still working toward my goals, the biggest win is this:
I show up for myself. Even when it’s hard. Even when I cry through the workouts.
Because now I understand why it used to be so easy to give up on myself:
I didn’t feel emotionally safe with myself.
Inner child work changed that.
It connected me back to the parts of me that needed gentleness, rest, compassion, and truth.
And I’m bringing little Arianne with me every step of the way.
If you’re ready to heal before 2026…
Don’t carry unhealed trauma into another year.
Start with the same work that changed my life.
💛 Grab my E-Book — Inner Child Work: Let’s Heal Foreal
It’s a powerful starting point for anyone ready to understand themselves, break emotional patterns, and begin real healing.
Your inner child is waiting for you.
Let’s heal, for real.
Love,
Ari, your therapist bestie.
